i have no words.

i need to workout.
i need to eat less.
i need to eat more.
i need to stop eating icecream.
i need to eat more lean protein.
i need for my parents to let me go to the gym.

i need to read my bible
i need to talk to God
i need to go to church
i need to ask for wednesday nights off


*sigh*

i read this today.. on someone's page.
it made me sad, it made me think.

it's rather stereotypical
but bear with me guys



Your perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card.
Your perfect little girl yelled at you last night.
Your perfect little girl talked back to you again.
Your perfect little girl painted her nails black.
Your perfect little girl lied to you all her life.
Your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep.
Your perfect little girl used to slit her wrists 'till she bled.
Your perfect little girl dated before sixteen.
Your perfect little girl was broken by a boy.
Your perfect little girl doesn't go to church.
Your perfect little girl hates you.
Your perfect little girl has given up on life.
Your perfect little girl had a tantrum today.
Your perfect little girl wants to run away.
Your perfect little girl has no real friends.
Your perfect little girl thinks she's overweight.
Your perfect little girl hasn't let you dry her tears.
Your perfect little girl disobeys you.
Your perfect little girl hates the world.
Your perfect little girl is hated by the world.
Your perfect little girl says bad things about you.
Your perfect little girl is very unhappy.
Your perfect little girl tried to commit suicide.
Your perfect little girl has become a disgrace.
Your perfect little girl....isn't so perfect anymore

second interview...
in the am. :)

kyle and lindsey...
wayy too awkward.

new worship leader...
weird thought.

it's thundering...
and i love it.

good night.

so all day on my birthday i kept wanting to call pj.
but you know, its weird to call someone and be like
hey, yeah, today's my birthday.

so i didnt.

he didnt call me either.
at 10:27pm, i got a text from him,
he said happy birthday, and he cant believe im 17

michelle called him. ugh.
i know she did, i wish she hadnt.


at the kissing tree before I learned my guns
we were seventeen, seventeen years young
i am still running, i am still running


i got this cup for my protein shakes...
but, it makes them all frothy. and weird.
and i dont if i like it.


in retrospect, i had a good birthday...
i just, didnt enjoy it in the moment.
and now its too late.


seventeen, livin on crazy dreams
rock and roll and faded blue jeans
and standing on the edge of everything
seventeen


seventeen, like the magazine.


im going to buy a mac. i have enough money...
but im scared. big purchases scare me.


and i post lyrics with my age
so i can relate. and feel understood.


she's not a drama queen,
she doesn't want to feel this way,
only seventeen but tired


ppeace.

this is the longest ive been without blogging my mind in a long time.


i interviewed at starbucks today
i dont think im going to hchs
ive got a 2nd interview on monday
highschool is too much work for nothing
i hope i get the job

tired... spent an hour at the gym.

*yawn*

night.