are a godsend

he wants a hug
and of course..
hugs arent that big of a deal
or at least, they shouldnt be
i hug people everyday

but, why does this hig mean so much?

idk, idk idk idk

as a friend
i think im going to have to back off
i cant handle this, im too young
im just a kid


grannttttt
i dont want to get married


i need my friends,
and i was stupid to think i could survive without community..

long time no type :)

ive missed talking to you, oh, dear blog of mine... ive got a lot to say, but i dont know where to start... last time i left off i was avoiding my friends... and i still am. uhm, lets just talk randoms...


parentalupdate
probably not separating.. they dont talk to each other much... which means theyre not fighting. which isnt terrible, i suppose. i wish they would talk things out, and i wish they understood each other. i wish my father would try to understand me. when we're in public..
or church, he's so different.. but, that's old news..
couple more years... thats it

jasondavis
i like him, i do, im not going to lie
i just dont know what im going to do about it

amandaparra
we've gotten really close lately... i love her

chrisjudy
is amazing, case closed.

| grantcollins |
you reading again?

patrickreeves
i like him, at least.. im trying to. sarah told me he teaches piano... im going to get my father to talk to him.. i really want to play again, and i want to get to know patrick, but so far...
he's just a really genuinely nice guy

sarahreeves
patricks wife... talked to her for about an hour today.. real nice. very open.. we talk about all sorts of things.. i like her, a lot

lindseyposey
i really dont have any straight facts about this... but, i just hope she doesnt hurt kyle. i have a bad feeling about it.. urgh.
it makes my head hurt

kylecalloway
its his fault if he gets hurt

chelseapitts
wont talk to me either
i dont really blame her

job
either publix or toyrus..
i think

school
sat, october 4th
csu... in the spring
ahhhhh



i dont want to grow up
but im excited about it

basically..
im avoiding them


at first it was just because we were all busy
but now.. idk, i just.. dont want to be around them

today, was a really bad day
no major issues and/or fall outs
just a lot of things piling up
my rooms is clean though

oh the things i get done when im frustrated...

things have kind of... calmed down a bit
i haven't talked to my dad in 3 days

except* ...yesterday, he asked me "what's the matter baby?" i looked at him, appalled, i cant understand how he can just push the issues under the rug... and pretend like we're best buds... it's not fair for him to expect me to just be happy go lucky...
im allowed to be stressed, and tense

"dont call me baby"

then, he left
knowing i wasnt going to give in to him

the whole house is tense
and unusually quiet

in the last three days..
ive eaten a bagel, and a zax salad...
maybe it is my mechanism

what if they do split up?
how weird would that be

i hope they make up their minds soon

"kevin, the point is, our kids are messed up
we've got to do what is best for them"

"kevin, stop being so selfish about this
i understand you can support yourself"

"i will have to find a way to provide a better income"

"ive given you my side of the situation
now, you need to make the final decision"




i seriously dont need to listen through their door
but i mean... i cant help it

im sick of their childish banter
im tired of them not getting along
half of me hopes they'll separate

it doesnt even upset me
and i know, its sad


and yeah, i know i know, im not in their shoes...
ive never been in this situation... etc etc
this is strictly a rant, my day was fan-freaking-tastic