i am very content with life
right now, at this moment
i wish i could freeze time
but that wish, makes me discontent
right now, at this moment
i wish i could freeze time
but that wish, makes me discontent
chandler
doesnt get more then a post
he shouldnt have kissed me,
and i shouldnt've kissed him back
because.. i mean, i did kiss him back.
its not all his fault, i left myself open
i couldve prevented it. we're both to blame
he's leaving may 18th. i mean.. i like micah, he's a sweet kid. i just.. i dont like him enough to make myself like him more. not to mention: he's leaving. iraq is far far away.
he shouldnt have kissed me,
and i shouldnt've kissed him back
because.. i mean, i did kiss him back.
its not all his fault, i left myself open
i couldve prevented it. we're both to blame
he's leaving may 18th. i mean.. i like micah, he's a sweet kid. i just.. i dont like him enough to make myself like him more. not to mention: he's leaving. iraq is far far away.
flame
so i quit smoking today
i was flying down 185.. and threw my last pack out of the car... im done for now. im sick of the guilty feeling, and im sick of getting bashed. but mainly, i just feel like im using it as an escape.. a quick mind-clearer. im an idiot. i'll probably pick it up again (at a legal age) but, it wont be the same. right now; i smoke whatever. any cigarette i could get my hands on... a pack a day when stressed. i wouldnt mind a pack a week... or even just the "social smoking". i enjoy it.
insert vent.. here
im sick of people telling me who i am... i cant be defined but what kind of cigarettes i smoke.. or the size of my jeans. it really gets under my skin when people try to put me in a box; look me and up and down, and tell me what, or who.. i am. i am not just a "smart kid".. im not that "homeschooled christian girl", nor am i the "wannabe rebel". im just trying to figure things out. seriously, i cant think of myself that way.. i cant label myself. i have a complex with making myself out to be someone im not. im insecure with who i am because i dont know who i am. so, when people try to define me by the way i walk.. or my sarcastic comments, or even just how i answer the drivethru. it really makes me think... i mean, i dont want someone else to pick me apart and choose my faults.. my baggage, my stupid choices.. and use that as my definition.
i feel like im a walking contradiction,
and an easy target
i was flying down 185.. and threw my last pack out of the car... im done for now. im sick of the guilty feeling, and im sick of getting bashed. but mainly, i just feel like im using it as an escape.. a quick mind-clearer. im an idiot. i'll probably pick it up again (at a legal age) but, it wont be the same. right now; i smoke whatever. any cigarette i could get my hands on... a pack a day when stressed. i wouldnt mind a pack a week... or even just the "social smoking". i enjoy it.
insert vent.. here
im sick of people telling me who i am... i cant be defined but what kind of cigarettes i smoke.. or the size of my jeans. it really gets under my skin when people try to put me in a box; look me and up and down, and tell me what, or who.. i am. i am not just a "smart kid".. im not that "homeschooled christian girl", nor am i the "wannabe rebel". im just trying to figure things out. seriously, i cant think of myself that way.. i cant label myself. i have a complex with making myself out to be someone im not. im insecure with who i am because i dont know who i am. so, when people try to define me by the way i walk.. or my sarcastic comments, or even just how i answer the drivethru. it really makes me think... i mean, i dont want someone else to pick me apart and choose my faults.. my baggage, my stupid choices.. and use that as my definition.
i feel like im a walking contradiction,
and an easy target
remiss
Jason Thomas Davis
i know you probably wont ever read this... but, i just wanted to let you know, that i have an incredible amount of respect for you. thank you for being the adult. thank you for stepping up to the plate, and slowing things down - before it was too late. i was negligent and juvenile.. naive even. i didn't care enough and, i dont want to say i wasnt ready for a relationship.. i was. i just wasn't mature enough to take responsibility for my actions. even though our relationship was short-lived, it had an incredible impact on me. ive grown a lot since, and part of that growth is because of your example.
and jason.. if you ever do read this
i think youre a pretty amazing guy
i know you probably wont ever read this... but, i just wanted to let you know, that i have an incredible amount of respect for you. thank you for being the adult. thank you for stepping up to the plate, and slowing things down - before it was too late. i was negligent and juvenile.. naive even. i didn't care enough and, i dont want to say i wasnt ready for a relationship.. i was. i just wasn't mature enough to take responsibility for my actions. even though our relationship was short-lived, it had an incredible impact on me. ive grown a lot since, and part of that growth is because of your example.
and jason.. if you ever do read this
i think youre a pretty amazing guy
contingencies
i dont know what to write
they taught me in college succes that when i couldnt come with anything to write, i should 'free write'. apparently, free writing is when you just write down everything youre thinking.
im cold, my room is cold, and dark. i got new candles and they smell lovely; vanilla.
evan asked me if i smoked today, i told no... but im not a good liar.
they taught me in college succes that when i couldnt come with anything to write, i should 'free write'. apparently, free writing is when you just write down everything youre thinking.
im cold, my room is cold, and dark. i got new candles and they smell lovely; vanilla.
evan asked me if i smoked today, i told no... but im not a good liar.
snow
when i was putting a title on this blog i was going to make it amazing.. i broke out my thesaurus and was on the verge of finding the most incredibly outlandish term for globs of frozen white crystals ever invented.
the problem was... i like the word snow
its simple, and lovely,
and its snowing :)
the problem was... i like the word snow
its simple, and lovely,
and its snowing :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)