forget this diet
im relying on icecream to make me happy

hello?

are we breaking up?

idk

jason, i dont see any reason in being with you if there's
even a question of "maybe we should break up"
you need to make some decisions

well, i guess... i guess, we're calling it as it is
but, we could always get back together
i know its not the social norm, and i know its not likely
but kayl.. we're not a likely couple. we're not the norm

silence

see you tomorrow?

no.. im not going

oh, see you at 'the door'?

i dont think so

okay.. are you alright?

silence

are you going to be alright?

yes

so i really like jason
this could pose a problem

i made my blog private again today
i needed to blog about J and didnt want anyone to read

also, superficial sidenote here
ive gained a significant amount of weight
and i plan on getting rid of it
asap

jason's been offered a job..
an amazing opportunity
he hasnt told anyone

"what would happen to us?"
we would have to break up, i couldnt do it
"yeah.. yeah youre right..."

i just dont know what to do
i cant just do nothing
but theres nothing i can do
nothing to slow things down
no way to go back

i think he should take it
im so happy for him
its what he wants to do

madrid, spain
capital of IMM
international media ministries

he should go for it
i wouldnt want to hold him back
he says he has a lot of praying to do
as do i

3 weeks in,
life is good

im starting to adore this boy
its starting to scare me

i dont want to get hurt
i feel vulnerable, but incredibly comfortable

he kissed me

at church nonetheless

head over heels
and falling fast