when i pick up my bible,
and/or when i pray,
i start to feel guilty...
like im only doing it
to get something out of God.
it feels wrong.
like im using Him.
just going through the motions...
expecting to feel complete.
i feel like im using God
to fill a void inside me.
and... i am.
i think it's a lack of desire,
to be close to God as a person.
but, i desire... desire.
-----
idk... im confused.
but still pondering.
and/or when i pray,
i start to feel guilty...
like im only doing it
to get something out of God.
it feels wrong.
like im using Him.
just going through the motions...
expecting to feel complete.
i feel like im using God
to fill a void inside me.
and... i am.
i think it's a lack of desire,
to be close to God as a person.
but, i desire... desire.
-----
idk... im confused.
but still pondering.
1 comment:
welcome to the club. there are times, especially when you're raised in the church that it all feels stale. it's in those times that you have to evaluate whether you're actually surrendered to God. there's a reason why we're not believers in Christ only...but followers of Christ. it's a journey...a physical, spiritual, emotional motion.
God will fill your void, though. just because you don't have joy, it doesn't mean that it's any less true. I'll write more later.
Post a Comment