missing.

im hungry, i haven't had enough calories.
when i count calories, i eat less.
it's 5pm, ive had 565

i miss pastor jason terribly, i love talking to him on the phone... but it makes me miss him more. i keep thinking eventually i'll move on, and not miss him - but it seems the opposite is occuring. he's been gone for 5 months. thats a long time to miss someone.

i ordered multi-vitamins.


im going to a personal training session today... with my madre, it should be fun but it's should also be hard. i want to be in shape, i want to be in top-notch condition. im just not sure if i want someone else dictating what i eat, and when i workout. etc.
i am grateful though, and im excited.

i talked to pastor jason about anna, i wasn't going to give him any names... but i slipped up. he says i shouldnt feel guilty, it's not my fault. he said something he'd learned recently is that i can only do so much, i can only love her, talk to her, be there for her... but in the end it's her decision. God, i hope she makes the right decision.
God i hope she's not pregnant.