typing. im in a sallow mood... when i get bored, or im not busy, i tend to be sad. right now i have so many things on my mind... work, school, getting into school, church work, trying to get out of church work, church, not going to church. etc.
i found out a fairly close friend is probably out
popping pills, smoking, and getting drunk.
and the thought of that saddens me.
i feel like if i havent made an impact on her,
then whats the point? if she cant see.. then why even go to church?
why even make an effort to live a righteous life?
and it makes me sick to think of the leadership positions she's been put into. and the people that look up to her... what if they knew? i mean, not that she shouldn't have been given those roles, but i would have thought she was better than that
idk... im just rambling.. im tired. and i need to do laundry.
i love my job, but its so draining having to smile for hours straight.
i really miss pastor jason, allot, in fact, it's kind of pathetic.
yesterday chelsea said "you know guys, he doesn't even miss us"
and that hurt. and even though i know it's not true... it still hurts.
ps//im pretty sure sallow means yellow... or sick...
or maybe it's a tree? but it fits today.
i found out a fairly close friend is probably out
popping pills, smoking, and getting drunk.
and the thought of that saddens me.
i feel like if i havent made an impact on her,
then whats the point? if she cant see.. then why even go to church?
why even make an effort to live a righteous life?
and it makes me sick to think of the leadership positions she's been put into. and the people that look up to her... what if they knew? i mean, not that she shouldn't have been given those roles, but i would have thought she was better than that
idk... im just rambling.. im tired. and i need to do laundry.
i love my job, but its so draining having to smile for hours straight.
i really miss pastor jason, allot, in fact, it's kind of pathetic.
yesterday chelsea said "you know guys, he doesn't even miss us"
and that hurt. and even though i know it's not true... it still hurts.
ps//im pretty sure sallow means yellow... or sick...
or maybe it's a tree? but it fits today.
1 comment:
"...why even go to church?
why even make an effort to live a righteous life?"
That statement reminded me of Malachi 3:13-15 (which is followed by 16-18). I think we all get that same feeling in our stomach when we find out someone we are close to is doing something like that. I'm not sure if that reaction is a response to the sin or to the realization we really aren't as close to them as we thought.
I also recently found out about someone close to me doing something I thought they were better than. There's really nothing I can do but confront them with humility and love, and pray for them.
I also need to do laundry.
P.S. Sallow is a type of tree/bush, but also means "unhealthy looking."
I think that your vocabulary is bigger than mine.
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