so i haven't blogged in ages,
and i sincerely apologize
in the time that has passed, a lot has happened
- - - - -
so july 5th was a monday, kristi and clayton were both off work, so i didn''t have to babysit... i hung out at manchester with klove for a bit and then just rode around doing next to nothing for the morning... around noon i went home and caleb and i decided to go to the gym late that night. i also invited kelsey to join us... so at about 1130pm, when caleb was supposed to be out of his "meeting" and at my house, kelsey and i were just sitting in the living room, waiting.
when kels got there, i was in my underwear, just hanging out on the porch... i didn't think anything of it, kelsey forced me into a pair of shorts when caleb rang the door bell... and that was that. we sat around for a few minutes... just talking about life, caleb went to bathroom, and suddenly, a cell phone started ringing... it was chris' ringtone. i didn't think much of the ringtone, so much as the fact that there was a unknown phone ringing in my house. i jumped up to search for it.. looking under the couch, in the cushions, around the window... and upon peering out the window i saw a small black vellular device perched in the sill...
dude, it's outside the window
kels: no way..
yes way, it's just sitting out there...
kels: hmm...
so i go to the door, swing it open, and about the time i went to step out into the darkness, i look up to see a dark figure smiling at me
i panicked
screaming at the tip top of my lungs i jumped into the house, slamming into caleb and ending up on the floor. about the time i had made it into the bathroom i realized that that dark figure was my boyfriend, flying across the country to surprise me... after a few minutes, i gathered my composure and, while trying to stop my knees from shaking... went back out into the house...
long story short... chris is a lovely individual, and im so glad that he came... we spent the week babysitting together... eating pizza outside of veterans, swimming at my aunts house, making chocolate covered strawberries, and kissing. all in all, it was a great week. i took him back to the airport on friday, and he flew back into waco and headed out to youth camp.
- - - - -
over the last month caleb and kelsey have been spending an awful lot of time with me, so, my default, with each other... as their relationship tried to develop into something more than "just friends" i found myself stuck as the median in a rather sticky situation... caleb honestly felt like he liked kelsey, and kelsey vice versa... but in the end, after a little heartbreak and rushing into things... caleb has decided that he acted out of his own emotion and hormonal self than out of God's will... he doesn't like kelsey, just the idea of being in a relationship... kelsey is... sad. i can tell, i know she is, and it break me a little... i feel more than slightly responsible.. i feel like i could've done more to prevent things. but i didn't, and things happened. now, hanging out is awkward.
caleb hasn't talking to kelsey to tell her how he feels... they're not friends, they don't talk... and it's not good times. caleb needs to call her, he needs to clear things up. i haven't hung out with him in almost 2 weeks, he's got horrible guilt gut and just hasn't acted on his word, which makes me disappointed.
i hope he acts soon
i miss him
- - - - -
currently my school situation is looking less than lovely. for some reason or another my financial aid hasn't gone through... which means any day they could drop me from my classes, i called this morning to sort it out and the woman said that one of my forms that i submitted had been selected for auditing, which is not good. tuition was due on the 30th, and it looks like i may have to take out an "emergency loan" to cover the cost until my aid goes through... i had to do that my first semester, and everything eventually working itself out... but it was a pain. the problem is, if for some random reason they decided to deny my aid, i would be $3,000 in the hole... and i don't want that. i took out a loan to pay for my car, and that in itself is enough of a financial weight without having to think about another... i don't want to get stuck. i'm worried. i'm praying.
- - - - -
to be continued
beach
boundaries, sex, and marriage
chris, happiness, and insecurity
ralphie
amanda / lost
No comments:
Post a Comment