opus 428

so i got home around 1, cleaned my room, overhauled my car, and washed all my laundry/linen things...  then i wrote a 4 page paper, took a shower, and went to work.... i got off work at 10, went to my english class at 11, and then ended up at veterans for two hours prior to my second shift today... i clocked in at 215, and i'll clock out at 1045, i've got to be back here at 630 in the morning.. and i dont catch a break until noon tomorrow, unfortunately that break is short-lived... i'm opening here on sunday as well... counting down the days until monday... atlanta.

i saw lizzie today, me and lizzie don't really talk much these days... just a quick hello whenever we happen to bump into one another... but we talked for about half an hour while she was here... she wanted to know how life was, and if i was getting pumped about heading back to oz... i told her that we had a lot of catching up to do... as i was clocking in and she was leaving, i told her that we should hang out... like friends or something. she grinned.

2 hours later i went on my ten... and had 3 unread messages from her. she's not doing well, and she told me that she almost "spilled her guts" to me, and would have had i not been heading into work... she's meeting me here tomorrow, and i'm taking her somewhere.. i dont know... she mentioned in her message that she needed someone to talk to that had been through their own crap and could handle some of hers - without passing judgment, and that she knew i was fully capable of that... she said that she needed a friend... she needed to talk. 

people need people

it's a fact

i feel guilty for this... i've been here all along... i should've called, taken some sort of initiative... i dont know. i know that i could've done something. i feel the same way with anna... i feel like i just picked up and left a crucial role that i was playing in each of their lives... that i abandoned them without warrant - in my heart i know that that's not the case, in fact, i know that i did what was right, i know these things... but that doesn't ease the feeling. it doesn't help.

i hope i'm not too late 

i hope that everything's okay

my stomach hurts

im going to eat dinner, 

and go back to work