opus 409

internship

towards the end of my time in oz i started to contemplate the reality of going back on staff. i figured id push it back until january though, since home was on my heart and the last thing i wanted to think about was being back in townsville for a year.

now, things are different. my post before shows very transparently the reality of me not going to europe... my class schedule works out to where i could complete a may-mester of classes at csu before i went to the july internship... ive run some numbers, and i can save enough cash to make it in australia for the entire year... plus airfare... the internship has quickly taken up a lot of space in my thoughts... i dont want to ask for money, i dont want to be a support-based missionary. i dont want to live a vocational lifestyle....

but i feel like its where i need to be

my heart hurts when i hear about australia

the radio seems to always be talking about it

i miss australia dearly

god... i need direction.

i want to follow him.... i want to do whatever it is that hes calling me to do... i want to devote my life to him.. even if that means leaving my friends, family, and independence.. again.

there's also a possibility of doing the bcc in january 2011, while on my internship...

life is a crazyas cycle

please pray for me guys.. and dont just make a mental note of it, but stop for a second, shut your eyes... please? lol.... where two or more are gathered... i dont know. i really need to be able to hear his voice clearly on this one.. a year of my life may seem like nothing to most... considering im still 18.. but it means heaps to me...